Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Tiger Woods did what??
You knew I was going to hit on this at some point. So let me get this straight. Tiger left his house at 2:30 in the A.M., and proceeded to run into a fire hydrant, and a tree? No alcohol involved? He wasn't drunk? Well then ladies and gentleman, what we have here is a pissed off wife chasing your ass with a golf club. I mean really. Why else would you not want to talk to the police? I would imagine he is feeling pretty guilty and doesn't want the world to know his business. Believe me, I have been there. It's not like the Fire Hydrant and the tree where objects that were just moved there that night that he didn't notice. Tiger just simply got his ass ripped into by his wife for sleeping with that other chic, which I will not mention, because she is already on a suing spree. His wife gave his face the beat down and scratches. Tiger ran and she chased him out of the house with a club. Gotta love the irony. He jumped in car to speed off as she smashed in the back window. Which brings up another question. Why in the hell would she break the "back" window to pull him out if she was dragging him to safety? Why wouldn't she just open the Drivers side door? Or at the least break that window? But the back window...Really? Well, where there is smoke there is fire, and Tiger got busted. Of course I may be wrong, and he may have really forgot about the tree and fire hydrant, and was just going out for some smokes at 2:30 in the morning, and his wife was courageous and brave and pulled him to safety, but I'm just not buying it, and I like my story better, even if it is just my take.
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I've seen this, I've heard about this...wow, is that what we as a society are letting happen? How many of us just want to go get some Chinese food and get an eyefull of the chick in the low cut black sweater...you know the type, braless with what my friend describes as "teardrop"...or should I say tear droppin down about 10" boobies. Now, is my wife going to take my 9 iron to me becuase of that??? I don't think so, she'll be happy I bought her a cookbook to learn how to make me a pie.
ReplyDeleteOh, wait a minute I'm off the subject. The problem is not with Tigers wife...it's with Borak Obombya. Now if he would have just given them strippers a stimulas package, like he did the auto makers, then Tiger (and when I say Tiger I mean we) don't have to pay 20 bucks for a 5 dollar lap dance then this would never have happened. Instead he probably had to just stop at one dance and she probably got all up in his face and stuff...so Tiger being a gazzilionair and all had to just go ahead and get is "package stimulated" in other ways. A 5 dollar lap dance and this would never have happened.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of what the heck is up with this economy? I just saw my boy running by chasing the dog with a pair of scissors...I had to slow him down and holler at him. I told him "when I loose my job because of Boreak obambya, we're going to have to eat that dog, so don't be running all the fat off of him." He's not that big of a dog, but a little butter and some garlic salt ummm ummm a billion chinese men can't be all wrong. Just my take on your take...OUT.
ReplyDeleteRyan Seacrest. Is that you? Out.
ReplyDelete